I’ve been lucky enough to have the computer for a little over a week now, so I can catch up a bit on writing and posting here. Unfortunatly this trend will have to end soon. I am hoping with my tax return that I can get a new if not bottom line computer. then I might be able to keep the “Scene a week” promise a little more consistantly. Until then I will continue to try to post, what I can when I can.
I heard a writer once talk about creating a new universe. I can’t remember who it was. They basicly said than when introducing an audience to a new world/universe. that you shouldn’t try to explain it to the audience. That you should simply begin your story, and that if the characters fit in that universe and everything just makes sense to them, that the audience will go along with it. I thought it was an enlightening observation. We see so many times when an unknown world, economy, or expedition is put into a film they tend to over explain it and put exposition, normaly written, right into the prelude. I have seen a lot of movies that not only over explain things but then watching the film explain it all over again and usually better, and in a more entertaining manner. Another pet peeve of mine is when they have to do flash backs during a characters acting moment, especially when they are alone and reflecting. They insist you don’t remember 30 minutes ago when the guys whife died and told him never to give up, or when the hero reaches the end and the mentor says “Remember always wait for 4” and he waits for the counter to reach 4. It’s a bit insulting. The only time I really apperciated when they did something like this was in Star Trek: The Undiscovered Country. And this was in the DVD release not the theatrical. When Spock is interigating the traitor and she names the co-conspiritors, they are so far removed from the story and my mind I had zero idea who they were when she was naming them. I was like “Oh yeah him, who the hell is he?” So I appreciated when, in the DVD release, the flashed ont he faces as they named them. If they had any critical role other then 2 seconds of dialogue and 2 minute of total screen time then it wouldn’t have mattered, but they buried them so deep in they were tirtiary characters at best.
So keeping that in mind I have decided to write a scene in which I will introduce a new world(s) to the audience through natural story telling and see if I can’t explain, with out over explaining, enough to make the scene make sense. Keep in mind not everything that the audience doesn’t know, has to be explained. Putting in repulser lift technology, for example, lets us know what it does with out telling us how it does it, and thats ok. In fact I am going to pull again from another full script I am working on to put together a scene inspired by it.
Int-Underwater (Time of day unknown; depth makes it complete darkness)
Vessle = Submarine meets starship: Varient
Crew in scene (Wearing Military style garments w/insignia)
Captain – (Alex)male early 50s
Fst Lt – (Debbie)Female late 20s
Nav – (Laross)Female late 30s
Pilot – (Tygiel)Male late 20s
weapons/Tactical – (Liz)Female early 40s
Varients’ Bridge 4 crew stations layed out in two semi circles with a captains seat behind in the center. Each station has a monitor and a consol which slightly varies per station. Layed out in a flat table configuration tilted towards the crew member. All flat surfaces, all consols are virtual. Lighting is low so that the backlighting from the monitors and instrument panels can be more easly scene.
Laross: Captain the signal seems to be comming from ahead, but there is a problem
Captain: What’s the Issue?
Laross: A cephalopod sir. About 50 meters long
Liz: Captain I recomend fracture bombs
Captain: No lets see what a bit of honey does for us first
Debbie: Honey sir?
Captain: Sorry it’s a pre-cat saying
Tygiel: Captain I thought there were no Pre-Cataclysm artifacts left?
Captain: There are a few, if you know where to look. Keep your eyes on that Bio-Threat
Tygiel: Aye Captain
Laross: Orders sir?
Captain: I want to drop a Pheromone pack.
Debbie: Ah, Honey
The Navigator puts in a few commands into her console, camera stays on Capt POV. Pilot seems to double check the calculations then sets the ship in motion.
Captain: Update Pilot
Tygiel: Underway sir
Captain: No, on the Bio-Threat, is it going for the bait?
Laross: no movment from the Bio-Threat captain, orders?
Captain: Hold here and give it a minute.
Laross: Still no movement sir
Captain: Ready our fracture Bombs
Liz: Ready and in the tubes sir.
Captain: Keep I.F.s on hand as well.
Liz: Aye Captain
Debbie: I recomend heat capsuls in case that thing decides to attack
Captain: Not yet
Tygiel: In Visual range captain
Two red, wide field lazers blink on under the bridge. What once appered to be a simple black curved wall in front of the bridge lights up with the red lights. The entier front wall is a transparent panel of some sort. using the lazer light the penetration in the depth of ocean water provides greater field of vision. A large octopuss like creature, modified it seems to be more aggressive looking and with hook like scales on the tops of it’s “Legs”. There is a slight metallic glint of something the creature seems to be napping on.
Debbie: Captain I’ve run the object through the analizer, it seems to be some sort or satalite communications device.
Laross: Then why is it using radio waves?
Debbie: I have ni idea, well know more when we get it aboard
Captain: Ready Fracture bomb on my mark, I want to hit close to the bio-threat, but not close enough to damage the device
Liz: Targeting, getting a calculated lock. Lock on target Captain
A small circular device shoots out from under the bridge towards the creature, then after a few hundred meters turns sharply upwards and seems to head to the surface. Camera angle switches to a POV of the ice sheet which sits atop the ocean above where the conflict is taking place. A faint light seems to mark the conflict site. Slowly the light grows in intensity. Then the small circular object comes shooting upwards. The camera tracks the object as it seems to almost impact the ice. Instead the object stops feet from the surface and explodes into a ball of light. The light seems to explode out in a circle parallel to where it detonated on the surface. Several heavy element stalagtights crack on impact with the sound waves and start to fall into the depths. Camera to right and slightly back from captaisn seat.
Captain: track those scewers
Liz: Debris headed towards planned trajectory
Tygiel: Captain, possible complication there is a thermal pocket from a vent below traveling through this region, it might knock those scewers off course
Debbie: Scewers on course captain 4000 meters and falling
Laross: Captain I think we’ve been spotted
Captain: Back us off 2000 meters and prep I.F.s
The creature seems to almost wake and move slowly towards the Varient The ship backs off, but the creature seems undetured
Debbie: Captain I recomend immediate action
Captain: I second that, fire two I.F.s 20 meter spread centered on target
Liz: Twenty meter spread, aye captain, read to fire on your command
Two more round object of similar size but of darker composition fire from below the Bridge display. The objects head right for the creature as it slowly picks up pace. The objects Reach thier target, but the creature neatly slips between them. As it gets midway past the devices they detonate. Instant 10 meter wide icebergs form around the detonation site covering the creature in ice instantaniously.
Debbie: Nice hit Liz
Liz: Thanks Lt
Captain: don’t celebrate just yet, look
The creature slips out of the ice boulders with large flakes of skin floating off into the surrounding ocean and the underlayers of skin seems to harden up to match the rest of the unaffected skin.
Tygiel: Well thats new
Captain: Heat Capsuls now
Liz: Aye Captain Heat Capsuls being deployes now
From under the display a steam of red colored devices much like the previous ones flow out and start to take up positions around the ship. Camera view switches to mid shot of the vessel to see the objects surrounding the ship like a shield of sorts. The creature reaches out to grab the ship. Camera swotches to beside the ship, mid view, but looking forward to see the creature reaching out to grab the ship. The creature impacts with a few devices. On impact the devices cause 3 meter holes where ever the creature impacts them. The creature draws back in pain. Close up of the creatures eye quivering in pain. Close up of the creature reaching out to the places it already got hit before, to find the devices haven’t been replaced. It slips it’s soft body and tenticals just under the devices to slowly surround the front of the ship. Switch to view in bridge of the beak comming towards the view panel.
Captain: Prepare to electrify the hull
Laross: But Captain that wil drain half out fuel
Captain: Just do it
Debbie: what good is fuel if were all dead? Tygiel go hardwire the core to the hull
Tygiel leaps up from his seat and hurries off the bridge. Camera switches to the back of Tygiel 15 meters fromt he door to see it open and tygiel go through it, and it close again. Camera switches to close up, outside of the ship. The creature twists one of it’s tenticales. It lifts it up, it hits one of the devices. The tenticle burns enough that the top 1/3 floats off into the ocean, but the stump comes down hard on the ship imbedding one of it’s hook like scales into the ship.
Debbie: Captain, hull break in enginering
Laross: Tygiel is headed that way
Captain: Calm down he only needs to get to the console and thats right outside of the main engineering deck. Prepare to shut the bulkhead in enginering.
Debbie: Bulkhead closed captain
Liz: Hull Hardwired captain ready to electrify
Captain: Electrify now
Liz: Running electricity now
Shot of the creature on the outside lifting another tenticle as the electricity shoots through it’s body. Stunned, it lets go and slowly drifts towards the bottom hitting a couple more heat capsules as it goes.
Captain: Retract heat capsules, get Tygiel to up hook that hardwire up and set course for that device. Time to see what we fought for.
Debbie: You heard the captain. (Presses intercom on display panel) Tygiel uncouple the core from the hull and return to station
Laross: Destination plotted and ready to proceed
Captain: When we get out pilot back, we’ll head in
Camera switches to an outside view slowly aproches the object in question. Looks like any modern day com panel with a microwave dish attached to the top for long range communications. a red light blinks on the side above a small plaque that has the NASA logo on it and reads “satalite feed for data aquisition” The devices seems to be crusted over by ocean life and rusted in many places.